Thursday, January 20, 2011

The country according to me!

After a brief conversation with my cousin last night I was left with a brilliant idea! If I could form my own country based off of the shit wrong with this one it would be fucking awesome! So I thought about what a Sparkling Country would be like and what would it allow.So I will outline the Constitution of the Sparkling Country.
1st. Hate crimes are punishable by death. Meaning, If you physically, emotionally, or mentally harm an individual because of their race, gender, religious preference, sexual orientation, or body size you will be punished severely! There are no loop holes! Once a court finds you guilty. You die!

2nd. If you protest at a soldiers funeral, outside a hospital, or any place that has do with the military you will be punished. First offense you lose your hands, second offense you lose your tongue, and third offense you die! It's simple. Support our troops!

3rd. Every person will obtain a license to reproduce. If you can not pass the test to reproduce you will be sterilized. If you have a child without having a license and are found unfit you will be sterilized and the said child will be placed with a family that can care for your child. There will be no children neglected! Children are a blessing not an accessory!

4th. Crimes against women are punishable by death. This includes rape, abuse, mental abuse, and emotional abuse. If you rape a woman you will raped by the biggest penis possible and then put to death. End of story. No loop holes!

5th. Crimes against children will be certain death! No if, ands, or buts!

6th. Marijuana shall be legal. You can grow your own plants. There will be no tax on it. If your friends have plants that are not producing you may share as you like.

7th. You can consume alcohol at the age of 18. If you can take a bullet for your country you can drink a beer in your country!

8th. Marriages are legal for anyone that wishes to share their life with someone. No one shall be denied the right to marry. If a minister of the service refuses to marry someone based on who they are marrying then the minister shall be accountable for the action. See number 1!

9th. No sagging pants allowed! If someone can see your undergarmets or lack of undergarmets you will be punished. Should you break that law your pants will be super glued to your waist line. No one wants to see your shit stains or your hairy ass crack!

10th. Smoking cigarettes is allowed in establishments in smoking areas. If you are a non smoker there will be a room for you sit in. Smokers have rights also!

These are a few things that would be put into effect in the Sparkling Country. If you would like to see more feel free to add them in the comments.
If you don't agree, Fuck you, it's my country!

5 comments:

FALEN AKA THUNDERCAT832 said...

I so wanna live in your country!! Damn I wanna be vice president!!!

-MissC* said...

Nice!

Jen Sparkles said...

@Falen I am thinking more along the lines of a panel to run things. Everything gets voted on by the people. The people have the say the panel is the approving authority to hand out punishment for breaking the law. A country in peace, getting high if they wish, and no crime. The men that bash our women need to be accountable. If they can't follow the rules they will forced to live in another country. Instead of fist fights we shall make evreyone smoke from the bong and talk it out!

@MissC thank you.

Copyboy said...

Sounds like a very interesting country. So is their pot brownie bake sales? BTW made you new blog of the day.

Jen Sparkles said...

No pot brownie bake sales...lol Maybe a plate for new citizens.