Thursday, February 10, 2011

Stand Back... This message contains feelings

As I have been sitting here listening to music from the days where we rode the strip, drank Boone's Farm from the bottle, and got our older friends to buy our smokes something struck my memory hard. I'm not sure if it was remembering the times where we didn't have a care in the world or remembering all the good times. So many of my memories are of Kendra and Faith. While not all of them are good most of them remind me of how far I have come. I look back and see that Faith tried to save me from the Jeremy chapter in my book of life. I lost her friendship for years over that douche bag. Well it was a mixture of him and my stupid mistakes. I never used to care about what people thought of me. I was having fun. I was blocking out pain and nearly killing myself in the process. I was very much a whore. I enjoyed sex and lots of it. If I were a guy I would have a lot of notches on the belt of honors! Looking back I realize while I was enjoying myself. I was also playing with fire. I have a dear friend that was there when Douglas was killed. She was there for a lot. We no longer speak and I miss her so much.
The times we would hold up in the girls bathroom to smoke, sneaking up the hill at the 9th grade center to smoke before our buses came, or getting high with Nathan. Gosh how I miss that boy! We lost Nathan in September of 1994. That boy could make any girl melt. He had the best personality. I remember him sitting in my parents drive-way on the hood of his mom's old huge grey car. My parents came home and flipped out. Of course we were getting high, but they were pissed a boy was there and they smelled cigarettes...lol. That was the day before he was shot. I was at work when we heard about what happened. The good old McDonald's drive-through on the strip! I still refuse to believe it was suicide!
Anyway, there are so many memories about Woody's Ice House! God I loved that bar! I spent 7 days a week there! From opening to close! Of course I do not remember every night but we had one hell of a time! OMFG, I met Fish at Woody's! LMAO! Nothing like 3 a.m. four wheeler riding drunk! The stupid shit we did! So the memories have driven me to try to find a couple people that I haven't talked to in a while. What a better place to start then Facebook! So I am on a journey to find my old friends and hopefully catch up. It would be nice to see how a lot of them are doing. Minus Fish...lol. That is one that is better left alone! That was a train wreck that I should have avoided but I kept jumping on that ride every chance I got! Have you ever had one of those relationships where you knew nothing good would come of it, but damn the boy just had something you craved? That is what Fish was...lol. I think it was the sex!

3 comments:

THUNDERCAT832 said...

That's why sex is so evil... especially when it's good! It can make you do the craziest shit! lol

Simply Kendra said...

Strolls down Memories past are so nice sometimes. Its amazing how how nostalgia can drum up feelings you sometimes keep inside and even ones you forgot about. They also remind you of how much you have grown and of all the choices you made and how they have affected the life you live today and the person you are. Great blog sweetness. I have fond memories of you even though many are rather blurry LOL

xoxo
k

Jen Sparkles said...

@Falen Yes Sex is EVIL! Very EVIL! But damn it's a wonderful evil!

@Kendra Yes, some are blurry... I can't seem to see through the smoke..lmao!