Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Ramblings and nervous feelings

I sit here waiting for the results of "Diva's" MRI. I am so scared. I am trying to remain positive but it's hard to do right now. Last week I got a small vacation to a psych hospital. I was literally having a nervous/mental breakdown. Turns out it's bipolar and M.D.D ( which is Major Depressive Disorder). Go figure.

2 days after getting out my children informed me they wanted a relationship with their sperm donor! If you don't know the story there's several previous blogs that refer to him. SEVERAL! So in the interest of my children and knowing what it's like to not have my father I caved. I am being positive that he will be the father they want him to be. I love his Uncle so it's nice to be able to speak with them again. My stress level is through the roof though!

So close to the final adoption and now they want him. It's frustrating! Top that with diva's issues, and getting adjusted to new medications!!!! It's killing me. The anti-depressants are making things worse as they start to build up in my system. I literally feel like I am losing my mind. I did get informed that getting better will be hard due to being normal for the first time...lol. That cracked me up.

So if you follow my blog please any advice would be wonderful. I think I just need a great therapist, a .45, a bottle of wine, and a get away car with a driver! 

1 comment:

middle child said...

You have waaaaay too much on your plate. You do need the help of a psyciatrist and a therapist. I don't even know if meds will be enough. Focus on your kids and yourself. Do not put blame on yourself. Keep loving your kids and remind yourself that just because a men are mean and uncaring, you still deserve the best. I care.