Keeping my sanity

I once again had to say goodbye to my child. After having him home a week after he gets out of residential he had to go back! This time to a different facility and now we have no clue what is going to happen. I am about to crack. I just want him home for good! I hope this doctor can find the right combination of medications.

In other news. Same shit different day. I hate drama. I don't talk about people behind their backs and quite honestly I don't care to know anyone's business. I moved to be closer to my son. Not to find, create, or be in the middle of drama. I figure if I keep to myself I can avoid the drama and not want to slit my wrists.

While yes my neighbors are quite nice and my children have made new friends I just feel that I am alone. No one is going through this sort of thing and no one can understand the true way my brain works. I think about things deeply and look at all angle's. I expect the negative because I am a pessimist. It's part of being a paranoid schzophrenic.

I don't trust anyone. I have constant thoughts that negative shit will happen. So I question everything. I have learned that if you don't put yourself in the situation then you don't have to worry about the outcome. With that being said I am probably deleting all my social media sites. I have to much going on to add anything new to the pot.