I can't possibly be calm!

With Ethan being 7 hours away and the looming government shut down things are a little stressful here at the moment. To make things even more stressful the daily phone call from his therapist didn't help things. It actually made things worse. He has started opening up to her and is talking about the things that happened to him while he was not with me! Forced to stand in a corner all day long for not eating breakfast, only given water, was not allowed to play with toys, was cut off from his sisters, was continually called Mr. poopy pants, when he had an accident he was hit with a belt, was forced to sleep on the floor when there was a bed in his room, and was spanked for sneaking food when they had refused to let him eat!
I have heard some of these things from his sisters before his therapist brought some of them to my attention this morning. While that is enough for me to commit murder there was more! He opened up to her that an adult would fondle him and that he was forced to take showers with an adult! Now this part is going to get me put in jail for a long time! As soon as she gets his confidence in her to grow and gets her to open up and say who the adult is you can bet that I will be seeking this individual out! If I can get to them before the authorities do. According to the therapist the things he says in session are confidential to a point. There is more then enough for them to contact the authorities!
I want so bad to make someone suffer for this! I am not talking about just beating the crap out of them and then sending them to hell where they belong! I want to make them suffer a slow painful death that is drawn out over a year!!!!! I want to torture then the way they tortured my sweet little boy! The sweet boy that will have issues the rest of his because of what they did to him! How can someone do these things to a child? How can look at them selves in the mirror or live with themselves knowing they hurt a child? These individuals are walking free and living their lives while my son is suffering. Hell, my family is suffering!
The girls are miserable because they miss their brother! We are all miserable. Our family has been turned upside down and we can only hope things will be put right.
My oldest was put through some things that are unanswered! Things that haven't been pursued! Not by me, but by the authorities! Isn't it their job to investigate and find out what happened. It's my job to protect my children and make the reports! I guess if the law can't hold the individuals accountable for their actions we will wait for God to judge the individuals. I can't wait that long! My children deserve to have justice! Ugh, I literally want to kill someone! The one thing keeping me from the drive with the .45 is that they need their mother! I am so mad that I am seeing red. If I freaking fucked up on grammar or spelling I don't give a fuck! I could care less about the errors in this blog! I want justice for my children and I am not stopping until someone answers for the shit they have done!